The ATTEMPED Changing of Personality of the Cullen
by WhatIsMyName13
Summary: The sequel to Cassy and Lotty's shinanigans with the Cullens. Please read and Review, come on, make my day!
1. Introduction

**Hello! I'm Lotty! And she's Cassy! And you may have read what happened when we captured the Cullens...**

**But then again you may not have...either way if you were left lusting after more Lotty and Cassy action; this is a sequel/alternate version! **

**Enjoy **

**X**

**Once upon a time there were two beautiful teenage girls who took it upon themselves to rid the world of the disaster that we today know as the Cullens...**

**With much effort and a magical pinecone they managed to kidnap this awful bunch and now we shall now hand over to them to tell us what happened...**


	2. Chapter 1

**I'm Lotty and she's Cassy!**

Hi

**We captured the Cullen's about a week ago...and had them living in Cass's garage! Fun**

Yeah, my parents weren't too happy about that

**But that got boring...so we decided to have some fun and try and rid the world of all the whole gayness that is Twilight**

Yeah, so after a while, we realized they were completely different people than they were in the books and that most of them were idiots, so we decided that something HAD to be done...

**(That Saturday)**

Jasper: Cassy, where are you?

Cassy: Over here with Lotty

Jasper: Oh *walks over* hi

Lotty: Helloooo

Edward: Jasper *nods as a greeting*

Jasper: Something goin' on over here?

Lotty: No *mutters 'Pervert'*

Jasper: Can I join in?

Cassy: No *mutters 'Paedophile'*

Jasper: Cassy, I'm hurt...

Cassy: Huh?

Lotty's Thoughts: _wish I could leave..._

Jasper: =[

Cassy: What? You do act like one

(Lotty and Edward make out then disappear)

Jasper: How could you?

Cassy: Sorry...

Jasper: It's alright, I guess but you have to give me an apology present

Cassy: And what's that?

Jasper: A kiss

Cassy: Emm...Not right now

Jasper: ?

Cassy: Bye *walks away quickly*

Cassy: LOTTY! WHERE ARE YOU!?

Lotty: Here

Cassy: What's wrong?

Lotty: Edward is being an arrogant twat

Cassy: Jasper is being a perverted twat

Lotty: *sigh*

Cassy: We've got to get rid of them

Lotty: I guess...but he's SO HAWT!

Cassy: *thinks about Jasper* Yeah, I know..*stares into space* Stop distracting me! What about the rest of them though? They are constantly in the way!

Lotty: right, operation 'change' the boys and 'dispose' of the remaining Cullens... *laughs evilly*

Lotty: How can we 'change' the boys though? We can't even hurt them! I know how to deal with Jasper, but what about you? How can you 'change' Edward?

Lotty: Hmmm, good points...wait! I know!

Cassy: Teehee *slaps self for giggling*

Lotty: I won't let him kiss me! Or- well, you get the idea .

Cassy: Sounds perfect and I have the perfect idea how to annoy Jazz

Lotty:???? This is goin' to be fun...

[5 minutes of planning later]

Jasper: (calling from downstairs) Cassy love, where are you?

Cassy: Coming now Jazz

Jasper: Well, hurry up please

Cassy: I'm coming, calm down (turns back to Lotty)

Lotty: Well time to put your plan into action. You go girl *winks*

Cassy: Teehee *slaps self* got to stop giggling

Lotty: I kinda like this giggling, makes me feel like the smart one

Cassy: See you later for a progress report! Make sure your plan goes ahead with Edward! *goes downstairs*

Lotty: Hmm...wonder what's for dinner, I'm starved

(Downstairs)

Jasper: Finally *kisses on the cheek* what were you doing up there?

Cassy: Just talking to Lotty for a bit. Haven't talked to her much in a while, what with all the whirlwind romances

Jasper: I guess, anyway, bushes or the corner *Grins*

Cassy: What about my bedroom? *evil grin*

Jasper: *sexy grin* Let's go

(picks up Lotty and sprints up the stairs)

(In the bedroom)

Jasper: *tries to put his hand in inappropriate place*

Cassy: *thinks unsexy thoughts to annoy him*

Jasper: grr...

Cassy: Am I annoying you Jazzy?

Jasper: Yes, very much so

Cassy: Teehee *slaps self* Shit! I have got to stop giggling! Damn it! Since when did I did I swear?!

Jasper: Since you met me *tries to kiss*

Cassy: So it's your fault!

Jasper: Don't blame me!

Cassy: I shall! *fixes clothes and runs dramatically from the room*

Jasper: God, why are all girls such drama queens?!

(Downstairs)

(Lotty and Edward are making out on the couch)

Cassy: Eww, don't need to see

Edward: You don't need to watch

Cassy: But I need to talk to Lotty!

Lotty: Busy *kisses* talk *kisses* later *kisses*

Cassy: Pleeeeeeease!

Lotty: Fine *kisses*

Cassy:....emm...now please?

Lotty: *still kissing*

Cassy: Edward?

Edward: mmmm?

Cassy: She's not breathing

Lotty: *gasps* see ya later Eddie bear *winks*

Cassy's Thoughts: _Eddie bear?_

(the girls go to the attic)


	3. Chapter 2

Cassy: *glares* YOU didn't go forward with the plan

Lotty: I know I wasn't meant to kiss him...but...

Cassy: *unimpressed look*

Lotty: okay...okay...OH! I know what I can do!

Cassy: What? *suspicious eyes*

Lotty: I'm going to ruin his favourite shoes!

Cassy: That doesn't really seem that great

Lotty: It will work...wait here

(Lotty climbs down the ladder)

Lotty: *picks up Edwards shoes and takes them into her room

[10 mins later]

Lotty: *puts shoes back and goes back into the attic*

Cassy: So, what did you-

Lotty: Shhh and wait...

Cassy: ...

Lotty: Wait!

Cassy: Nothings happ-

Edward: Oh my fucking god! LOTTY! LOTTY YOU BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FUCKING SHOES!!

Cassy: O.O it seems I spoke to soon

Lotty: =/

Edward: LOTTY! GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE NOW! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!

Cassy: ...emm...

Lotty: He's taking it better than I expected

Cassy: That's a good reaction? His emotions must be messed up

Lotty: Maybe I should go down-

Edward: LOTTY!

Cassy: Are you going to be alright alone? O.O

Lotty: I'll be fine, don't worry

Cassy: Okay, if you're sure, I'm going to try and plan a revenge on Jazz

Lotty: Okay *pauses* Maybe I should wait a wh-

Edward: LOTTY!!!!

Lotty: Coming!

Cassy: By the way, if you die I want your spoon collection and all your videogames!

(In the hall)

Lotty: What's wrong Ed?

Edward: YOU KILLED MY SHOES!

Lotty: Your shoes?

Edward: LOOK AT THEM! *points*

Lotty: Yes...and?

Edward: THEY ARE PINK! YOU DYED THEM PINK!

Lotty: *backs up against the wall*

Edward: *breathes heavily* Okay Okay...just tell me, why?!

Lotty: *laughs* Felt like it

Edward: ...

Lotty: Why aren't you screaming at me?

Edward: ...

Lotty: Edward?

Edward: *sigh* Fine, I shall just...pretend..it never happened

Lotty: ?

Edward: *small smile*

Lotty: Wow...

Edward: What?

Lotty: *kisses* Your so nice... and sweet and sexy... *kisses*

Edward: *smiles* Aren't I just *closes door*

(meanwhile)

Cassy: hmm...

Jasper: CASS-Y! Wheere are yhewww?

Cassy: I'm in my room Jazz

(he stands leaning in the doorway)

Cassy: What are you doing?

Jasper: Waiting for you to invite me in

Cassy: Look, I know you are a vampire but I know that is a myth

Jasper: It is a myth, this is a southern gentleman's manners, it's because I thought you were annoyed at me, and if I have angered you somehow, I'm really sorry

Cassy: Aw...you're so cute! You can come in if you want

Jasper: *walks in and lies on bed next to Cassy*

Cassy: Hi

Jasper: You okay?

Cassy: Yea...I guess...

Jasper: What's wrong?

Cassy: I..uh...umm...to be honest, I have a really weird compulsion to play with Lego

Jasper: Okay....

(In the Living room)

Carlisle: Esme, dear, I'm sorry (talking to Esme's ashes)

Esme: ...

Carlisle: I am sorry...look I even tidied the house!

Esme: ...

Carlisle: You know what? Forget it! I want a divorce

Emmett: Whoa! For serious? No more Ez and Car?


	4. Chapter 3

**Carlisle:** No, I've had enough of that bitch to last me a lifetime. Esme get your things and go! I never want to see you again!

**Emmett:** Awesome, come on Mr Single let's go pick up some chicks!

**Carlisle: **Um...yea, totally, I'm well down with that

**Emmett: **O.O

**Alice:** I sense two new people arriving in approximately three hours. Their names are Loui and Moany and they will cause romantic outbursts and general chaos...I will not like them for they are violent and loud and they will hurt my brain. Jasper will avoid them because their emotions will be too quick and strong for him to handle...

**Esme's ghostly voice:** moooore whoooores...

**Emmett:** Excellent!

**Carlisle:** Uh yea, totally

**Alice:** You're disturbing me Carlisle

**Emmett:** O.O

(In Lotty's Room under some covers)

**Lotty**: *Runs hands through his hair*

**Edward: ***Kisses and wraps arm around her waist*

**Lotty: ***Thinks about tacos*

**Edward: **Lotty!

**Lotty: **What?

**Edward: **You're ruining the mood!

**Lotty: **Sorry...

**Edward: ***makes out*

**Lotty: ***kisses back and unbuttons his shirt*

**Edward: ***shrugs it off and continues*

**Lotty: ***thinks about tacos*

**Edward: **For fucks sake Lotty!

**Lotty: **I'm sorry! But I'm hungry!

**Edward: ***huffs*

**Lotty**: ...

**Edward: ***sits up*

**Lotty: ***crawls over behind him and puts arms around his waist*

**Edward: ***tries not to smile*

**Lotty: ***kisses neck*

**Edward: ***smiles*

**Lotty: ***kisses ear*

**Edward:** *turns around*

**Lotty**:*makes out*

**Edward: ***pushes onto back*

**Lotty**:*stomach grumbles*

**Edward**: *sigh*

**Lotty: **Sorry

**Edward: **Come on, *helps up* let's go get tacos!

**Lotty: ***pulls clothes back into place*

**Edward: ***puts shirt and trousers back on*

**Lotty: **Sorry *buttons shirt for him*

**Edward: **its okay *kisses* let's go...

**Lotty: ***smiles*

**(They go downstairs)**

**(In Cassy's Room)**

**(Jasper and Cassy are playing Lego Batman on the Wii)**

**Jasper: **MWAHAHA! I'M WINNING!!

**Cassy: **NEVER! (Taps random key furiously)

**Jasper: **NO!!!

**Cassy: **YES!!! I WIN!!

**Jasper: **grr...

**Cassy: ***smiles innocently* I love you Jazz

**Jasper: **grr...

**Cassy: **Don't you like me anymore?

**Jasper: **grr...

**Cassy: ***cries*

**Jasper: **Sorry....I love you too!

**Cassy: **YAY! *hugs Jazz* I WIN AGAIN!

**Jasper: ***kisses Cassy to get her to calm down*

**Cassy: **Woohoo!

**Jasper: **I let you win

**Cassy: **Aww, you're a sore loser! That's so cute!

**Jasper: **grr

**Cassy: **Sorry *kisses*


	5. Chapter 4

(In Taco Bell)

**Lotty: ***eats taco*

**Edward: ***laughs*

**Lotty: **(muffled) Wha?

**Edward: **You have sour cream on your chin, *leans over and kisses it off*

(Old lady looks over in disgust)

**Lotty: ***laughs*

**Edward: ***laughs*

**Lotty: ***eats another taco*

**Edward: **You really like those don't you?

**Lotty: ***nods*

**Edward: **I know this sounds wierd but seeing you dribble sour cream down your chin, it's so sexy... *winks*

**Lotty: ***grins*

**Edward: ***laughs* Yes, just like that

(Old lady still staring)

**Edward: ***leans over and starts making out and run hands through her hair*

**Lotty: ***surprised*

(Old lady leaves muttering 'disgusting')

**Edward: ***leans back*

**Lotty: ***pauses...eats another taco*

**Edward: **So, as you are busy, I guess I'll talk then, Carlisle and Esme are getting divorced, Rosalie is engaged to a prince and Cassy is trying to sabotage her relationship with Jasper and- what?

**Lotty: ***spits in a napkin* WHAT?!

**Edward: **Honestly, you forget I can read minds! You can hide nothing from me!

**Lotty: **Amagawd! I seriously forgot about all that...

**Edward: **Why do you think we're eating tacos?

**Lotty: **Oh yea... I'm really forgetful

**Edward: **You're tacos are getting cold

**Lotty: **NO! *crams tacos in mouth*

**Edward: ***laughs*

**Lotty: ***chokes*

**Edward: ***sighs and saves heroically*

**Lotty: ***eats another taco*

(In Cassy's room)

**Jasper: ***kissing Cassy*

**Cassy: ***knots fingers in Jasper's hair*

**Jasper: ***laughs*

**Cassy: **What?

**Jasper: **Nothing...

**Cassy: **?

**Jasper: ***kisses Cassy again *

**Cassy: ***falls back unto bed*

**Jasper: ***kisses down Cassy's neck*

**Emmett: **OMG! JASPER IS EATING CASSY!!

**Cassy: ***screams in shock*

**Emmett: ***rips Jasper off Cassy* YOU ANIMAL! I WILL SAVE YOU CASSY!!

**Jasper: **Emmett! PUT ME DOWN!

**Cassy: **Emmett, you bastard! PUT HIM DOWN!

**Emmett: **CASSY! YOU'RE ALIVE!!

**Jasper: **OF COURSE SHE'S ALIVE YOU RETARD!

**Emmett: **But I didn't even get to give her the kiss of deat- I mean life

**Cassy: **GET AWAY FROM ME EMMETT! YOU FREAK!

**Jasper: **Cassy, RUN!

**Cassy: ***runs and hides in a closet*

(Emmett and Jasper wrestle, Jasper throws Emmett into a wall then runs away to find Cassy, who is cowering in a cupboard)

(Lotty and Edward come home on his motorbike)

**Lotty's Thoughts: **No matter how many times I see him on that...it still seems incredibly sexy...

**Edward: **Haha *poses*

**Lotty: **Don't be a poof

**Edward: **Sorry *grins*

**Moany: **OH MY GOD!!

**Lotty: **oh shit...CASSY! CASSY HELP!

**Moany: **OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S EDWARD CULLEN!!!! LOTTY! QUICK GET A SACK!!! OH MY GOD AND ALL THAT IS FUCKING HOLY SHIT!! OH MY GAWD!!!

**Lotty: **umm...Moany...calm down...breathe

**Edward: **uh hi I'm Edward Cullen *hold out hand*

**Moany: ***faints*

**Edward: **Uhhh...Lotty babes...I don't think she's breathing

**Lotty: **Quick! Run and hide!

**Edward: **Where?

**Lotty: **I don't fucking know where!! JUST HIDE!!!

**Edward: **Closet?

**Lotty: **Go go go!

**Edward: **To the closet?

**Lotty: **Yes to the closet! Now hurry up, she's coming to! And take the other Cullens with you!

**Edward: **To the closet?

**Lotty: **I don't know, just go!

...

GOOOOOOOO!

(In the Closet)

(5 minutes earlier)

**Cassy: **Teehee! *slaps self* that was weird

**Jasper: ***snicker* Yea...but at least I had an excuse to throw him into a wall...

**Cassy: ** *kisses*

(Enter Edward, Carlisle, Emmett and Alice)

**Edward: **...

**Carlisle: **O.O

**Alice: ***yawns*

**Emmett: **Heyall!

**Cassy: **emm...why are you all in the closet with me and Jasper suddenly?

**Emmett: **We ish hiding

**Cassy: **From what?

**Carlisle: **Your friend

**Cassy: **Which one? I got a bad feelin' 'bout dis...


	6. Chapter 5

**Edward: **I THINK Lotty said her name was Moony...

**Cassy: **O.O... oh no...EVERYBODY HIDE!!

**Edward: **Well...That would be why we're in the closet...

**Cassy: **Oooh...oh right (whispers to Jasper) at least no one has realized you have no shirt on for no apparent reason

**Emmett: **JAZZY SPAZZY'S NAKED! IT'S AN ORGY!!!! *grabs Cassy and kisses her*

**Jasper: **I AM NOT NAKED!!

**Cassy: **That's right, he's just topless, and Jasper please hit Emmett

**Jasper: **Gladly *hits Emmett*

**Emmett: ***squeezes Cassy's ass*

**Cassy: **AHHHHHHHHH! PERVERT!!!!!!*runs out of closet screaming*

**Jasper: ***attacks Emmett*

**Emmett: **You like it rough Jazzy Spazzy?! *kisses Jasper WITH tongues*

**Jasper: ***retches, then kicks Emmett in the balls then kicks him in the head multiple times* DIE PAEDO! DIE!!!!

**Emmett: **I love you to, you sexy boy!

**Jasper: **AHHHHH! *flees closet*

**Emmett: **NOO! Come back me my one true love! Whose washboard abs, make me want to dry hump!

**Edward: ***hits Emmett with rock*

**Carlisle: **Where'd you get that rock?

**Edward: **I keep some in my pocket

**Carlisle: **Whhhhhy?

**Edward: **Meh

**Carlisle: **Ooookay...

(In the garden)

**Moany: **Ug..urgh...guh...what happen- EDWARD CULLEN!!! *crawls around sniffing*

**Lotty: **What the fuck are you doing, you insane squirrel

**Moany: **FLUFFY TAIL!!!

**Lotty: **TAILESS SQUIRREL!

**Moany: **FLUFFY TAIL!!!

**Lotty: **NO TAIL!!

**Moany: **FLUFF-

(private joke)

**Cassy: **AHHHH! I FEEL VIOLATED!!

**Lotty: **Why? What happened?

**Cassy: **Emmett happened...

**Lotty: **Oh god, I know, he's actually getting worse, I was in the shower this morning and I found cameras with stickers saying property of Emmett Cullen

**Moany: **EMMETT CULLEN!!??

**Jasper: **AHHHH!

**Cassy: ***kisses* what happened Jazz?

**Moany: ***stares open mouthed*

**Jasper: **Emmett happened...

**Lotty: **Oh snap!

**Cassy: **What she said.

**Moany: ***rugby tackles Jasper into a bush and screams* JAZZY SPAZZY!!!YOU ARE MINE NOW!!!!

**Lotty: **O.O I told Edward to hide you...It's not my fault!

**Cassy: **No, it's Emmett

**Jasper: ***screams in emotional pain then faints*

**Lotty: **Wow...they can faint?

**Cassy: **Apparently so...

**Moany: **OH MY GOD! I KILLED JASPER!!

**Lotty: **Yes...you have killed him

**Moany: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Loui: ***wanders in* what's crack a lackin?

**Moany: **I KILLED JASPER CULLEN!!!

**Loui: **Yes...I'm sure you did *sees Jasper* AMAGAWD! JASPER?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!

**Moany:** I KILLED HIM!!

**Loui: ***cries*

**Moany: ***cries too*

**Emmett: ***also cries*

**Moany: **O.O

**Loui: **O.O

**Lotty: **Oh shit

**Cassy: **Oh Jesus. H. Christ

**Loui + Moany: **EMMET CULLEN!!!!

**Emmett: **Yesh?

**Loui: **Mine!

**Moany: **Mine!

**Loui: **No, Mine!

**Moany: **MINE!

**Loui: **MINE!

**Moany: **MINE!

**Emmett: **Ladies ladies, if you must fight, you have to do it topless

**Lotty: **NO DON'T!

**Cassy: **DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! HE'S A PAEDOPHILE!

(In the closet)

**Edward: **Maybe we should go help...

**Carlisle: **I don't know...

**Edward: **I don't really like closets, they make me feel gay...

**Carlisle: **Yes...

**Alice: **Maybe we should go outside...Carlisle, you are about to fall in love with a short blonde girl...and Edward, you may get raped the future is unclear...Emmett has already met his true love

**Jasper: ***walks in unsteadily*

**Edward: **Are you alright?

**Jasper: **No, not really...

**Carlisle: **What happened?

**Jasper: **I just got raped, emotionally *breaks down in tears*

**Carlisle: **By who?

**Jasper: **Cassy and Lotty's friends

**Edward: **Girls?

**Jasper: **Yah

**Alice: **I told you so

**Carlisle: **WE NEED TO GO OUTSIDE AND MEET THEM!!

**Jasper: **I'm too emotionally scarred to care anymore

**Edward: **I'm sure Lotty would want me to get on with her friends...maybe they can help me learn more about her...

**Carlisle: **I need to get me a new chick

**Jasper: **Carlisle, stop trying to talk all 'funky' it's really not helping my emotional pain

**Carlisle: **But I'm down with the kids

**Jasper: **Sure, you are Carlisle

**Edward: **Jasper, you should stay here, you're going green

**Jasper: **Thank you Eddie

**Edward: **DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!!

**Jasper: **Oh right, sorry Eddie

**Edward: ***knocks Edward out with a rock*

**Carlisle: **How many of those are you carrying?

**Edward: **Meh, a few

**Carlisle: **Okaaaaaay...Well let's go

**Edward: ***pushes Jasper into the back of the closet and padlocks it*

(Back outside)

**Moany: **MINE!

**Loui: **MINE!

**Moany: **MINE!

**Loui: **MINE!

**Moany: **MINE!

**Loui: **MINE!

**Emmett: **Yes ladies, I shall be yours!

**Lotty: **Pleeease shoot me!

**Cassy: ***pretends to shoot Lotty then pretends to commit suicide* God, this is SO embarrassing

(Enter Edward and Carlisle)

**Edward: ***kisses Lotty* Hey babe

**Carlisle: **So where are-

**Moany & Loui: **EDWARD CULLEN!!! OMG!!!

**Moany: **AND CARLISLE!!

**Loui: **WHO CARES, IT'S EDWARD CULLEN!!

**Moany: **and Carlisle

**Edward: ***hasn't noticed, is still kissing Lotty*

**Moany & Loui: **OMG!! MUST KILL!!!!

**Cassy: ***Coughs*Edward *coughs* Stop!

**Loui: ***sneaks up behind them*

**Moany: ***hits Lotty with a rock she took from Edward's pocket*

**Loui: ***ties Edward up and gags him*

**Moany: ***climbs on him*

**Loui & Moany: ***fight to sit on him*


	7. Chapter 6

**Cassy: ***tries to shake Lotty awake, it doesn't work so she pours a bottle of ice cold water over Lotty's head* WAKE UP LOTTY!! THEY ARE RAPING YOUR BOYFRIEND!!

**Lotty: **Meh...five more minutes *rolls over*

**Cassy: ***shakes and slaps* WAKE UP ALREADY!! EDWARD IS GETTING RAPED!!

**Lotty: **Yes I like cheesecakes...

**Cassy: **Ummm...LOOK! SQUIRRELS EATING TACOS!!

**Lotty: ***jumps up* TACOS!!

**Cassy: **I knew that would work... NOW HELP EDWARD!!

**Lotty: **Edward has tacos?! Where?!

**Cassy: **NO! Your boyfriend is getting raped by our friends!

**Lotty: **OMFG! Get off him!

**Moany: **He's mine!

**Loui: **We own him!

**Lotty: **He's MINE!!

**Cassy: **He's LOTTY'S

**Lotty: **Yes, HE'S LOTTY'S!

**Moany: **NOT LOTTY'S!

**Loui: **MINE!

**Cassy: **Ask Edward! He'll tell you he's Lotty's!

**Loui: ***ungags Edward*

**Edward: **Get the fuck away from me you psycho bitches!

**Lotty: **Yes, get away *sits on Edward's knee and kisses him*

**Moany: **O.O

**Loui: **NOOO!

**Cassy: **Heh-heh!

**Carlisle: **Um...excuse me, short blonde girl, are you fourteen years old?

**Loui: **Yes

**Carlisle: **Perfect *kisses*

**Loui: **O.O

**Cassy: **Well, that was unexpected

**Edward: ***still kissing*

**Cassy: **Emmm...Edward, your dad is kissing one of the rapists

**Edward: **Wha?

**Lotty: ***catches his chin and turns his head around and kisses him*

**Moany: **I lost them both...O.O

**Emmett: **But you are not alone

**Moany: **Emmett Cullen! The body building comic Cullen! 3

**Emmett: **AMAGAWD! A girlfriend I can touch and molest without it being rape!

**Moany: **AMAGAWD! I HAVE A CULLEN!! *jumps on Emmett*

**Cassy: ***sighs* I miss Jasper

**Edward: ***pulls Lotty back* closet, sick

**Lotty: ***kisses him again*

**Cassy: **You locked him in a closet, bastard

And so all of the Cullens and their new spouses retired for the night for um...stuff

__________________________________________________________________________________

WAZOOO!

So it is done, the second Lotty and Cassy spoof....

But will there be another?

Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuun

Eeep I forgot the disclaimers again?

Will I go to jail?

AHHHH!

*breathes heavily*

READ & REVIEW!!

Love

Zee


End file.
